Love Chicken, Just Not the Heads....

I had my dream interrupted by a phone call from the girl in the black honda that I told yall about (see blog: Rants, Raves and the Good ol' Minimum Wage Workforce). Remember how I said that I couldn't tell if she was a chicken just yet? Well, attention folks, this one is cluck cluck certified. The convo went a little like this....

*grumble* hello?
"Hey, I was hoping you was up, I was thinking about you"
really, who is this again?
"________, anyway I was wondering if you had to work tonight?"
why?
"cause, I had wanted to come over and see you, I felt lonely and I thought if you weren't so busy, maybe we could kick it, watch a movie, smoke..."
Hold up, last time I checked, we haven't even went out and you want to come over?
"Well, yeah, you ain't got a problem with that do you? What you got a girl over there or something?"
No, but I do have to work though, hey, what time is it?
"8:15pm, so can I come through or what? You know you want to see me, I sure as hell want to see you"
Sorry, can't do that, I do have to work and I was sleep, so can I get back at you on that?
"How bout this? When you get the energy up and you are more awake, call me so you can give me the workout I been waitin' on since that day."
What day???
"The day I met yo ass"
Hold on (at this time instead of putting the phone down I overheard one of her friends or relatives come in the room and question who she was talking to - here's how that went)

"Bitch who you talkin' to?"
oh this is (_______) I met him at Jim Dandy, girl I don't know where the hell this city was hiding his ass but I'm bousta land his fine self by the end of the week.
"What? You tryin to fuck him by the end of the week? You think your pussy got power like that? I seen what you did to that fool Derek, he still whipped calling me to try and get at you and shit, how he look?"
He look good as hell girl, shit if you play your cards right I might introduce you to him, but not until I put it on him, you know it can't be official until I put it down...
"Once you do, he ain't gonna know what hit him"
sheeit....when I do, I hope I don't know what hit me...

I look at the phone and smile, this shit tickles me with females sometimes, cause the shit yall do, us brothers have done one time or another, but this girl done let her mouth get her into some shit. Now I know her M.O., and I know she is into that whole kiss and tell shit. Sorry, I don't play those Sex in the City games, although most of the time we brothers find ourselves the topics of most engaging conversations amongst our sistas. This chicken made herself suspect when she was talking like her pussy was made of platnium or something.

Now as far as the 'putting it on me' part of the convo, all I can say is that in my 26 years of life not one person had ever made me do anything along the lines as taking them shopping, buying them a ring, take care of their car payments, get their hair done, etc, etc. All in the act of busting a nut. Now if it was good I will call you back the next day, same if it was bad. Considering what's good for some may not be good for others, and vice versa. I don't need to use my dick as a weapon, or as a conversation tool, so don't expect me to talk like I'm the shit or something. Won't happen, this chick just put herself out there like I was a puppy or something, so when she got back on the phone....

Hello?
"I missed you, what took you so long? I thought you were trying to make me miss you"
Did you?
"You know I did, so when are we gon' hook up?"
and do what? I do work nights you know, and besides I talk to someone, I'm not into that whole juggling thing, so we could be cool.
"Oh you just talking? Then it really don't matter then do it? I'm sure she ain't all that if yall just talking anyway, besides what can she do that I can't?"

Know when to shut the fuck up......click.

To the chickens in the world who suit the above, go ahead and call me cold, call me an asshole, I don't give a shit. I can take but so much when it comes to some of yall, yet I will never understand what makes yall act the way you do. Is it a gene? Do yall mothers act like this? Look don't answer that one, I just know that for the past few years now I have been subjected to this "Poultry Power" Revolution and it's come to my attention that in my next few blogs I will have to update the brothers on this phenomenon that has us on shows like "Maury, Cheaters, Judge Joe Brown (yup chickens show they ass on that show too), any MTV reality show, etc etc. This sickens me, because the shortage of us "men" that we hear so much about is the same reality of the shortage of women that are well needed in this world. For the sistas in my life who have not crossed the line and have stayed real and true to themselves, trust me, I will always have the utmost respect for you. Keep on doing what you do. For the rest of yall, I would suggest loosening that ponytail, and opening up your mind instead of your mouth, cause it's shit like the above, that gets yall pregnant, kicked out of your house, beat up by some ungrateful nigga (God forbid), or worse. Think about it, the new age whore nowadays aint no more than 14 and up, and they getting younger, wonder where this is all coming from. Even working with kids who are on that path tell me they don't really know, but always seem to want me to turn it to some videos, hmmmmmmmmm.

Anyways, now that you've been updated on the lowlight of my day, I want to shout out Z*, always good to hear from you, much love to you and your quest. Hopefully the right cat comes along and sweeps you off of your feet, only to put you in those shoes you're requesting when he puts you back down...

To R* from the ABG* crew...much love on the get back I appreciate it, I like what yall are doing with the site, with all the ideas I have on paper for my chickenhead site, and the cats who are helping me set it up, looks like we gon start a whole new wave of hot shit for that ass, keep checking me, cause I will be checking yall.

To K*, damn girl, you know I would reserve this spot to say something about this past weekend...but seeing that today is Tuesday and all, who is your favorite baseball team again?

To The King*, I know it's been awhile man, my computer has the clap and will be quarantined for a good week or two, sorry but I'll be doing all my email and blogging from the job...if it's allowed, so don't take my absence as a blow off, I just have to use my time wisely that's all.

H20, I still owe you an ass whipping in Madden 2005, although we took the Raiders to the Super Bowl, I still need to avenge this 49-3 beating I took at the hands of you. Now seeing that I don't own the game, and you beat me on my second time playing it, I feel as though we should have that rematch. I'll even put some haze on it, maybe that will influence you more. But, right now I need you to get your spades game up....cause she's coming, and I'm not losing, you hear me?

G Phi G that's what we wanna be.....(if you don't know, you betta ask somebody)

Enjoy living up North, we don't get hurricanes this way

Da Champ