Molting Season and the Truth Behind KFC and Their Big Ass Chicken...

Dammit, talk about breaking records. Don't worry yall, I am not talking about the Red Sox.......yet.

I am officially convinced that the month of October is not only for Halloween but more for the Molting season of these chickenheads and roosters that make our streets unsafe and unsanitary. If you have been paying attention to K*'s blog, understand that the story of the Chickenhead and the Cell Phone only happened between Saturday and Sunday. Ok, now with that said, allow me to shed some light as to why some of yall just don't fucking understand why I am on this crusade to rid the earth of this monstrosity of a Poultry revolution.

I just got me a T-Mobile plan on Saturday afternoon. Now we all know that T-Mobile is the everyday black person's phone. Kind of like our own little bootleg nextel plan without the walkie talkie effect and that bourgie (for yall ebonically challenged BOO-G.) effect we all seem to notice with these fools who think the have money. Anyway, not even an hour after I get this phone, I get my first phone call. Here I am thinking that it's my baby calling me to say, "hey your number works". I get some cluckhead who decides that the voice behind the other side of the phone she is now intrigued about. Oh did I mention that I had absolutely no fucking clue as to who she was, and let her know it was a wrong number. Ok, so with that said, I'm thinking all is well, and no sooner than 30 seconds later my phone rings again. I'm not really pissed yet because maybe it was a ringback and that person or the phone would hang up.....but nooooooooo, not this time. This chick is like:

"Who dis?"
No, who is this?
"Don't worry about it, just know that I want to know you"
Um, is this the same chick who had the wrong number?
"Yeah is there a problem?"
When I don't know your ass and you aren't my woman, then it does pose a problem and can become quite a nuisance, I would appreciate if you don't call me if you don't know me.
"Well how can I get to know you? You won't tell me your name."
You are the one with the wrong fucking number, I think it would be right if you told me yours. I think you would be foolish to call someone you don't know, and try to talk to them and not know them, especially a wrong number...
"Well what you got a girl or something?"

*pause*

See this is the dumb shit I speak of, like when KFC puts in that hormone that makes chicken legs look as big as a damn baby's thigh, it's like the brain in these in chickens gets small as shit. I thought I said that If she wasn't my WOMAN then it poses a problem but in this case her persistance only feeds my ignorance towards stupid ass women. See at certain times can a man actually show that side where women tend to either run away from, or take head on normally with a can of mace or a sharp object. This is one of those times. Now like I was saying...

Yeah I have a woman
"Where she from, what school does she go to?" (Sign #1 Young chicken)
She's been out of school for awhile and don't even live here so you don't know her, just know that she's good enough to not cheat on while she's away from me, especially with an over the phone chat line groupie.
"I bet I can take care of you while she's gone, besides I'm sure you need some tlc while she is out doing her thing"
Actually I have all the albums, and I get enough satisfaction off of - wait a minute I don't even fucking know you, and why am I talking to you again?
"Because you are feeling me that's why."
No sweetie, that's bullshit...

(In walks M* who I know would do the trick as to play my "girl" considering she is a chicken herself, this part won't be that hard for her, long as she don't take it too seriously.)

Hey, my woman just pulled up.
"So, let me talk to her, and let her know what's up"
I don't think you would want that, but seeing that it would be nice to see my girl cuss someone out today, why not?
(Hey babe, someone wants to talk to you)
"hello, what's up, yeah I'm his girlfriend, and he's busy getting his dick sucked if you don't mind, I would like to finish sometime today."

(I don't know what kind of dialogue was exchanged between the two, at this point I really realized that I was on my own in this situation....for the record to you fellas do not ever, ever - ever ever ever ever send a chicken to handle another chicken....feathers fucking everywhere)

So after snatching the phone back and giving her the "fish eye" I proceeded to hang up on this girl because I knew what was coming next. So I go upstairs to H20's room and we share a blunt talking about it. At this time I am in the middle of a game and all of a sudden the fucking phone rings again. It's her, I will not disclose any more dialogue on it but let's just say that she talked, I passed the phone to H20 who recommended making her the next extra in R. Kelly's "Pee on U" video, still not convinced, this chicken kept her eyes on the prize and proceeded to call me non-stop until I mentioned that I was engaged and would like to speak to my fiancee. She backed down like she had something to do herself. Hung up. I then called my "real" woman, who I told this to and got the laugh track of the day. Gotta love my baby, she could've went so many ways on this. Anyway, I get home, go to sleep and wake up for work only to see that this chicken done called me at least 7 times since I was sleep and that was only for 4 hours!!! To make matters worse, this dickface called a whole day after!!! I then had to rethink my approach to this situation because I didn't want to bring the bitch out of her and have her blow my damn phone up. Besides, I got this phone for one reason only, and that's my fucking business. So there. Anyway, I politley told her that the joke is over, and there will be no meeting me, ever, ever.....ever, ever, ever, and to cease all future calls, cause everytime I see a private number I consider that person about as fucked up as the fool who forgot to use *82 first. See my point? Good, she did too.

Now to another one that represents the roosters in our Poultry Revolution: So el Commendante has identity issues huh? Oedipus complex like Jodi in Baby Boy. Once again refer to K*'s blog on that one, what I do know is that dude never seen the girl and claims he got her? No wait, can't give him that much credit, he says and I quote he "been had that". Now I ain't the smartest man in the world, but I know that there is no way, well at least scientifically, that you can have someone if you ain't seen them yet. Unfortunatley, his "yet" is now null and void, considering his jumping of the gun, and his lack of common sense. Then to go and act like he gully just to impress his boys (he probably was talking with her on the speakerphone to let his crew know he got it like that in other states, I know cause at 13 I was doing the same shit - key age 13) . Anyway, they probably didn't care anyway except the dude who ain't got no girl that was keying in on every word she was saying to him. Now I never had a problem with dude visiting her anyway, but now seeing that his true colors done shown and his dumb ass can't seem to recognize his position. Let me be the one to put it in perspective....You are an idiot, beyond reason, that girl I mentioned above is right on your wavelength, I tend to wonder if yall share the same coop. Do not be surprised if you go to Columbus Ohio and notice that some of the folks there may have the six pack, but they lack the plastic thingy that keeps them all together. Him being a prime example. So, if I ever make my way over that way, I will look in any Fried Chicken Shack and see him as a source of inspiration to all Roosters and Chickens of the world. Dumb ass, very dumb ass. Get a life, play your position, and remember "Roosters don't fly" Think about that. Don't hurt yourself trying.

Now what is the moral of the story? There isn't one, if you look close the moral should jump out at you. Now if it don't, then maybe you need to stop laughing first. These are true stories as all the other ones are. Look, read, learn. Comment if you want, I don't give a shit really. If you take any offense to any of this, then I REALLY don't give a shit. Hell maybe even two shits, for you and your dumb ass friend you had to read this for.

On a good note. I'm very happy that K* got the damn job. Now she can work on taking care of things the way SHE wants to. That's good that her space provides her with the opportunity to do whatever it is that makes her happy, it just feels good to support her all the time. I sincerely hope that in the years to come she blows up and doesn't end up having to go on a shooting rampage because they wanted to jerk her on some overtime. Speaking of which, I'm tired, I thought overtime, and thought about the better shit I could be doing at the moment like enjoying good convo, and sharing thoughts with someone I care about. Even if I'm not getting paid, it still feels like I am. That's whassup. You know, I could on all day about how I'm feeling inside, but just know that I'm smiling on both ends, at least until you attempt to steal my joy.

Oh, before I forget, you know is going to the World Series right? You damn skippy my Red Sox are in there, past the damn Yankees, I figured that after being down 0-3 yall had us counted out right? Hey fuck you buddy. My boys are in there like air pockets on a fat girl. Love it or leave it alone, it's all good.

Speaking of sports my Pats are sitting on dubs. Period.

If only we can have the Celtics wake up. Now this is where the curse really is. Other than that Mass is what's happenin.

Much love to K* of course, Shottanix* congrats on your job, H20 for hooking me up that gas I needed to make that run to that meeting, and Mom for being a Yankees fan and going on K's side as they both are now losers.

To my Red Sox fans much love. We did it, we kept the faith, now we gotta win the world series. If we don't, then dammit I don't know what to say.

Dawn of the Dead you bitch ass muthafuckas.

I'm out Enjoy the World Series (Shit I know I will)
Da Champ