The Ol' Country Buffet....

Yeah I'm going to take it there.

Just came from angryblackgirl.com and Resh, you's a fool yo, kid really had chicks on the lineup? Talk about dude's who talk loud and not say anything. Sad part was he had two tries at it. Damn.

For those who don't know hit that site up, brotha's, if you are taking care of things downstairs for your lady, betta make sure you're on the money, otherwise you could be the subject like that fool.

You know Da Champ had to say something on the matter right?

Now, I "go down". Yes I said it, I fucking meant that shit too, I started young, and been hooked ever since. It started when me and my boy was talking about our famous celebrity conquests. His woman still being Janet Jackson, and I was stuck on Jody Watley (so what she needed a sandwich, I thought she was sexy as hell). Anyway, I remember he said something along the lines of, "shit Janet? She ain't got to ask, I'll eat her out anytime". What??? the fuck you mean eat her out? That's nasty I thought, and that's when he told me about it. Now being young and your best friend just slightly older than you of course you aren't going to have much experience on the matter. But I just had my first encounter with sex not too long before this convo, so I was curious as hell, next thing I know, I was in my room with the damn medical book like "what's a clitoris?" you see, with the curiosity came questions, with those questions, I knew the basics, as far as all the tricks and positions involved, of course I learned (or created) on my own.

Gotta love it, anyway, I didn't put myself out there like I had a sign on my chest that said "Cooch Eater USA" but word got around on the matter. You ladies think that we men are all about receiving, all about take, take, take, well I'm one that loves to give. Some may beg to differ, and that's because I felt they weren't worth giving to, I mean after all, I ain't stupid, why would I bless every Lisa, Angela, Pamela, and Rene when three out of four ain't about shit? The way I see it, us brotha's can be just as picky and choosy as the next female, thing is most of the women of the world think we can't turn down anything. That's bullshit, when you've seen it enough, then you can knock down every now and then. I just wonder why females get mad when a dude is like "nah, can't fuck wit'chu" you really can see the chicken in them. Anyway, there's a few stories about some females who I have shared some times with and no more than a week later I get calls from friends, sisters, cousins, and shit trying to get me to get down with them... what kind of shit is that? For the good though, there is the bad. . . . . . . . .

like SOME OF YALL REALLY DON'T WASH YOUR ASS....I got nothing but love for the ladies, but damn sometimes that shit be having my damn ears sweating. There was this one girl I met in college and she looked on the money, dressed nice, all that, we get to the dorm and you know how sex has a particular scent to it? Well this was the room for a minute, but come the morning, her ass had the hallway on fire!! The big ass bathroom on fire!!!! The dorm oh my goodness!!! You think I should've caught that shit from a minute ago right? Nope after a few el's you ain't really focused on it, and no it really wasn't there but damn that shit was straight cheese and mayonaisse, my roomate left me a note on some real shit cause it was on some "oh no". She got the boot, never EVER came back. No I didn't go down on her, cause she wasn't worthy, but if I did, I wouldn't be typing now, can you say carbon monoxide poisoning?

with that said, please wash that ass yall, the fate of mankind depends on it. Nosir, but fucking please, stop telling your friends how good your dude is at it too, there's nothing more foolish than telling Shaquetia and Tyeesha about how Rob "do that thing with his tongue". Yes, your peoples will take our number off your cell phone, wait for the perfect arguement, plot and plan accordingly, and next thing you know they are the one's with the story, although most of the time this is pretty much the case, the girl can be alot bolder in her moves. It's happened to me 4 times, twice with an insecure girlfriend, you be the judge.

Brotha's I'm not going to let this particular post go without giving you tips on giving your woman oral pleasure, just a few tips though, you want the full list, better take my class Cunnilingus 681. Other than that just pay attention...

5. Don't talk, just listen, and I mean that on a number of levels too, you can be the ultimate freak, but overpromotion will make you as popular as a hard dick in a lesbian club. If you mention it and let it sit, 9 times out of 10 you have a better chance of actually doing the job, while you are down there, don't talk....listen to her react, feel her reaction, if you can't hear anything because her thighs are cupping your damn ears, guess what? It just might be all good. Oh yeah, also to piggyback above, when you overpromote, you better live up to your shit too, cause you really don't want to be the subject about the dude who couldn' even take his pants off, cause his tongue game was weak. Not good, I seen the results of some shit like that. Dude still suffering.

4. Stop trying to imitate those damn porno's!! I can't stress that shit enough, all that head shaking, and growling like you a bear raiding a picnic and shit. GO head' man. First off, the women in those flicks have been through all types of bangin and shit, you cannot tell me that each and every one of them can actually feel all that nibbling and biting pullin and sucking on that VERY SENSITIVE AREA??? No I don't think so, the nerve endings are off the heezy, now when you watch those things pay some attention while she is laying there, guarantee you she will have that look like "is he done yet?" In that sense you can really see the acting in those movies.

3. Go Slow. If you think for one second that you are going to be down there any less than 2 minutes before you jump all in it, you are wrong. Unless she wants you like that, you need at least 5 minutes to explore the area, find her weak spots, take a chance to find all her weak spots, enjoy satisfying her, enjoy her period. If she is worthy enough to have that taken care of in the first place, then guess what? You should put in twice the effort.

2. Be creative, there's nothing like putting a girl on her back, going down, only to come up and start missionary, sound familiar? Good, that means you should change your shit. Like put her on the wall, or weightbench. Lift her ass up off the floor, be creative. You want let her know you are comfortable with yourself to make that creative and on top of that you want to give the impression that you are thinking about her. She'll take note of that for real, even if it's a mental one. Besides, you would take head anyway you can right? Well think about how she feels.

1. After foreplay, remember your job is not exactly done, learn to give it to her outside of the norm. Give her some breaks between positions, it helps for calming down, it also prolongs the session, there's quite a few little things she'll appreciate about you. Trust me, if she is a chicken, then you will see the things I mentioned above.

Other than that, happy eatin.

Jamie Foxx, you got your Golden Globe, you know what's next dude.

K* new phone? Hope I get the VIP

Shout out the job for the dope overtime this month.

TO ALL INDY FANS, WE TOLD YOU, WE TOLD YOU, LET IT GO, YOU ARE STILL NOT FUCKING WITH US, THE PATRIOTS ARE NUMBER 1 PUNK. THAT GOES FOR YOU LITTLE STEELER FANS TOO. KEEP SLEEPING.

I'm out, you've been great.
Love DaChamp