Mall Sessions Vol. 2

Just another one of those nights, found myself with nothing to do but go to the mall...I was actually trying to find my better half something for our anniversary. Shit was crazy, this time around, we have already spoke on the whole newfound parenting, and now I'm going to take it to the level that yall probobly been waitin for.

Women are crazy.....nah some of yall is crazy but most of yall girls is off the chain. You would think that with all the shit that is spreading in the US these chicks would take heed nah mean??? Anyway, here's a change of events that will probobly blow your mind, and this shit happened in one day less than 2 hours......


Fuck the chick on her way to her car that doubled back as I got out of mine (she thought she knew me, yeah ooooooooooohk) it was the teenage chick who was in the Green Hyundai with a dude in the back giving him brain and the two niggas in the front smoking some true dirt (gotta be young I thought - pinwheels for rims?) Anyway, I just passed on by without looking. But as I got in the mall I turned for a second, cause if I was right just like that el, she getting passed around too. It only took me a few minutes to actually finish that thought and the one in the back went to the front and the driver went back there. The driver I knew cause I used to work with that fool, good kid (one of the few black jewish cats I know - uh that's another thing) both parents the whole nine. Another fool corrupted by rap videos and the bling era I thought. Anyway it was time to shop. I headed to the spot where the exclusive kicks were being sold, it was a decent day, not to big though. Traffic was reasonable. Service was shitty. But on my way out there was 3 girls approaching the store and one had that look in their eye of course but she wasn't whispering either "Gurrrrl, he gotta big dick, look at his walk...." I stopped and observed the area... old man....couple.....10 year olds......then me. Never mind I thought that they were really talking about the old man. These girls were fucking bold 4 real. These were 14 year old white girls straight from 90210 but was raised in 01119. I left the area and they were walking 2 stores behind me. "He got that ass too, I got to get me one of him and he' alone too? Shit." I made a right to the GNC (14 year olds DO NOT go there fo sho) they passed with the mouthpiece staring and giggling. I ended up hitting the Orange julius and then i saw them...all four of them and her ass in the front sucking on a lollipop as if she was trying to conceal the dick breath. My boy saw me at the Subway and gave me the nod and came with the pound. I clenched my cell phone tight and hit him real quick to be safe. Then he comes with "yo, you know what just went down? See shorty over there? She bout it yo, you can get down if you feel like it, but I know a nigga like you be busy anyway." I just smiled at dude and was like what about your boys? He's all like what about them? They just ridin' young was scared and the other nigga was trying to act like he wanted to hit that and she wasn't feeling him. She saw you and wanted me to get at you since we cool like that.....(like any other nigga, the next question came like clockwork) whassup with the weed my nigga? I said nothing really, and told him my connect aint around. It wasn't like I had the number, I just didn't want to extend the conversation more than it needed to go. I felt hard ass eyes staring at me and looked behind me and here comes Charlies fucking Angels. "yo Crystal, whaddup???" Oh damn this nigga knows them. Come to find out they all go to the same school. Ain't that a bitch? Not to mention this nigga I'm talking about is damn near 20. See what too much weed do?

Getting away from that was simple, I got my food and without any eye contact was like I'm trying to eat before my shit gets cold, you know how these damn bags is. I wasn't done shopping so I headed into the record shop, my boy was too busy being a pimp and took care of the followers you dig? So here I am listening to some old Al Green to put me back in place. I then caught a glimpse of a woman who looked like around 35, 36 checking what I was listening to. "I see that you know your music, how old are you?" I gave this look like I was paying attention but wasn't. I just said excuse me? She smiled and it looked like a blush when she said how old are you? 27. "wow, you're a fine ass 27, you wouldn't happen to have kids do you?" (shocked but not stupid) no I don't but, I ain't on the market if that's what you're asking. "really? That's too bad, I could really use some company where I'm at, the whole idea of trying to get over an ex husband who's a fucking asshole can be hard these days." I wish you and yours the best.....then she left. Almost looking like I ran over her fucking dog or something. It was then Get Your Freak On by Missy came over the store. She stopped dead in her tracks and started to wind her body like she was trying out for a video or some shit. I wanted to wait til she left cause I didn't want to be the one to walk past her. So I chilled stayed focused, and put on Love and Happiness. I turned my back to her and started to look at CD's and when I turned around again, she was gone.

It was time to go, and when I did the last thing to happen was just plain rude....the bus let this old woman chase it for a good 10 ft. and with a good 7 to go, she dropped her bag......

the bus driver had the most devilish grin on his face too. I saw it, but couldn't laugh with him simply because it was raining.

I was serious when I said this all happened in one day, one outing. This chain of events are only a few in a fucking lot. It's the ones I think are good to share with yall that you experience with me. This is my life unscripted, and the mall is just one of the many chapters. Hope you enjoyed it.

Yall be good
Da Champ

PS You fucking Yankee lovers betta understand if my Sox ain't going to be there neither are yall
....fuckers