Mood Swing...

".....I'm still proud of you...." -K*


I have a major bone bruise on my right knee. I got the results today. I woke up still trying to fall asleep. I showered for almost 20 minutes. Something doesn't feel right, I smell rain. I go outside and see no clouds, the feeling is calm....

for now.

I see a storm coming. Thing is, I don't know where its going to come from. The job has taken a left when it comes to individuals who want to keep their job. We have been on probation for over a year now and from what I understand we are going to be on probation for a good while now. The position I have puts me in the front line of office politics, and tactical bullshit that people do in order to save thier own ass.

Looks like the game done changed.

Now with the roster I have now, I feel like the world has just gotten smaller. On crutches for a couple more weeks and this shit hanging over my head, I'm wondering who's gonna cut the string and let the piano drop. I found myself just sitting here thinking about making moves and finding another job. Something just isn't right. With this addition, I KNOW something ain't right. It's just good to hear K* tell me she's still proud of me after all of this. It helps.

In the meanwhile....

SO much to talk about that I'm not sure on. I feel like I'm on top of the world one minute, and the next I feel like that world disappeared somehow. Yeah, in just one phrase or sentence, someone can take away everything good you were feeling and turn it into a ball of confusion. I look foward to things I'm not sure is there. I feel things that should be shared, but I hold back to avoid rejection. I move foward with good sights in my future. Yet, I'm constantly reminded that it's only my sight and that's it. I'm missing something here, and I don't know what.

Til then...onward and upward.

I'm out, yall be cool.